brrrr

Winter Morning
Originally uploaded by m.Lee

Been cold here in Boston this weekend. This piece seems appropriate, right type of houses (in certain neighborhoods) with the chill air breezing through. Winter is extra rough here since we do a lot more walking than in much of the rest of the US. Even if you drive places and that is something to be avoided in many cases you often can't park all the close and need to walk. The best ways to get around Boston are bike, foot, T then car. But I am too chicken to bike here much.





Pouch for mommy and one for daddy. I am completely hooked on baby wearing and find myself lurking around the internet looking at others and coveting. There is this one seller on Etsy that makes some gorgeous ones. Right now I really wish I knew how to sew because I have some fabric that would work really well. While I adore these fleece pouches for winter I just find myself wanting more. They are incredibly addictive.

Blee turns three months old in just over an hour (7:14pm)! Wow! Today we took her to the Cambridge location church and she met other friends and other babies. Tiny babies for her to devour since she is monster baby that eats small babies for snacks. Speaking of monster baby I am fearing she may be heading into another growth spurt. She's been eating tons lately. She is so much bigger it is crazy, I see little ones walking that have smaller heads and aren't that much larger than her. Of course my cousin was a big kid but she just ended up tall not overweight. I am hardly considered about baby fat, obesity on babies is extra cute!

Good Morning - Happy Birthday!

Good Morning
Originally uploaded by m.Lee

A week ago I was at the hospital getting a pre-induction treatment. I had no idea that by 7:14 I would be holding our beautiful baby girl.

All three of us couldn't be doing better. This little flower Jon picked for me this morning while walking the dog. The little pot was a gift for blee when she is older for her own flower picking from jdwolfepottery. Etsy user kindness strikes again!







While I haven't made any new work this week I did start listing new products that I was too tired, sore and depressed to bother with pre-pregnancy. My shop is now officially reopened. making it clear that it may take up to a week for shipping, especially internationally

Today some friends are stopping by to see the baby (and us I presume) but other than that we have no plans. So far it looks like it may not be as hot as it was yesterday so I would like to take her out on a stroll, maybe with the dog so she feels included. Our little bug was fed with the milk drug not too long ago so she should be out for awhile. After I finish up my breakfast and coffee and shower I am going to clean up my studio so I can either carve or print today or tomorrow.

Happy Sunday everybody! And happy birthday to Alexandra/ Alex/ blee/ bug at 7:14pm tonight!


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Now playing: Jens Lekman - Someone to Share My Life With
via FoxyTunes

Fast and Furious!

Marissa and baby
Originally uploaded by m.Lee

Welcome back from the weekend, hope it was fantastic for all. Though I don't think any of you could have me beat at this point for wonderfully eventful weekends! Little blee (or maybe not so little?) finally decided to enter the outside world at 7:14pm on Sunday night, and boy was she in a hurry to get here after those 12 extra days cooped up!

We went in for some pre-induction treatment at the hospital to help make the scheduled induction on Monday go easier on Sunday morning. The first treatment didn't seem to do much, we went and ate lunch across the street before coming back and getting a second dosage. There was even talk of the possibility of getting a 3rd dose before sending me home! After about a half hour of lying down I started having contractions and they came on quite strong right off the bat and got pretty serious (as in painful) very quickly. After about an hour of this we spoke with the midwife that was treating me and decided that this most likely was just the side effect of the treatment and would wear off. The pattern did not fit true labor and I had not progressed much closer. We decided to go home where I could take a bath and generally be more comfortable.

We were home and Jon was helping me with my breathing for close to two hours before I decided that this could be the real deal after all since even though it was still very erratic it was getting worse not better so when I was able to talk I had Jon call the hospital and they had us come right in. We arrived at the hospital around 6:15pm and they were ready to admit me right away. I was wheeled up to labor and delivery screaming for pain meds. Screaming for the epidural. I nearly cried when they told me that I had to be examined first as I wanted them to stick that epidural needle in my back right then and there if they would it hurt so badly.

Around 6:45 my water finally broke as the nurses were helping me get into a gown (or a Johnny as they like to call them here). By seven I was being examined and told that while I could receive an epidural the baby was so close to being born that I could have the baby by the time they got it for me. And that pushing would help direct and ease the pain more than breathing. I was absolutely terrified of the prospect of going drug free as this had never been my plan this entire pregnancy or even pre-pregnancy! But I wanted this over with as soon as possible.

With the midwife that had just gotten on duty delivering the baby, the midwife that had taken care of me all day and was on her way out when I came in cheering me on and applying wet towels to my face, two nurses and the one whose fault this was keeping me focused and motivated I did it! After thirteen minutes of pushing we had a large, healthy baby girl to hold and worry about for the rest of our lives. When she decided to come she didn't waste any time! I was in total shock for the rest of the night. Alexandra Lee Swinghammer was born at 7:14pm weighing 8.6 pounds and 20 inches. She made sure right away to let us know that her lungs work!

I feel fantastic! We had a great first day yesterday and we are both very smitten. She is already daddy's little girl and has taken quite a shine to being held by and talked to by him. I guess she heard him all the time he was saying "hi baby!" to my belly because she responds very well to his voice and him saying that now. She just loves being talked to in general.

She had her first visitors today. My aunt and her family came and two of Jon's co-workers came by to meet her. And of course her adoring public that is the etc. forum on Etsy that has been waiting to finally meet her was very pleased. I can't wait to show her all the love she already has and had even prior to birth when she is older!

Lots of phone calls lots of change. I seem to be healing quite nicely and quickly. Emotionally I feel very good and hopeful about our future as new parents. And even though it was the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life it feels so good to finally be on the other side of it and be healing instead of getting worse!

I'll be back to making art in no time at all! But for now it is time to bask in the glow of my most beautiful creation.

pssst our camera battery died so we have no pictures from Monday other than the ones that my aunt took and hasn't sent us yet. Here is a photoset that we will be updating with new photos as we get them. The battery is charging now. I need to get some film of Jon with little Alexandra because it is touching.

I just woke up from sleeping and feeding and she is in the nursery while I sent Jon to sleep at home so he could be comfortable. Now I am ready to go back to sleep. When I started this entry I was very awake, now I am sleepy enough to be in danger of some major typos.

Thank you and I love you all! I'll be around!

One Final Goal

Packages to Mail
Originally uploaded by m.Lee

Little (or not so little) blee has officially made it into September without being born and I am pretty certain that I am going to have to be induced on Monday. I'm just not feeling it happening before then. The process starts Sunday and lasts all day and most of the night but the induction itself starts on Monday.

I'm behind on mailing orders. Even though every person that has ordered from me recently has given me permission and even sometimes encouraged me to take my sweet time I just can't do it! This is unfortunately an old photograph and not the current orders that need to be shipped. But my one goal for the day is to get these items packed and shipped by evening. Even if it means doing it in stages and resting in between. Buyers have been beyond wonderful in giving me time but I just think it would be so much better for everybody if I could get these out before I get induced and today is the final day. That way I don't have them hanging out in the back of my mind when I have my baby to care for.

Adjust that. I wrote that last paragraph last night before bed when I wasn't feeling great but I wasn't feeling awful either. This morning I woke up with a horrible leg cramp along with my entire body being in pain. The best thing to do for leg cramps is to get up right away and stand and walk it off if needed. Except there is no such thing as me getting up quickly, especially first thing in the morning. After tossing and turning screaming in agony Jon woke up and hoisted me up and I forced myself to walk. I'm still hurting. My goal from last night is still my goal, but I have to consider my health. I hate this so much. There is also the little extra of getting light headed and having difficulty breathing randomly throughout the day. And if I go into labor then all goals are off other than getting this baby out!

Maybe I can get Jon to do the packing for me while I give orders from the comfort of my glider chair?

A week ago we were spending our final day with our beloved cat Burrito and preparing to say goodbye and now we are in the final preparations for this new life. It is an odd mix of expectation, sadness and still some disbelief about both the cat being gone and that we are actually about to become parents. What a week it has been. What an August!

His Final Days as the Baby

Love Bug
Originally uploaded by m.Lee

I actually had to put something in the bouncy seat for the baby just to keep this little guy from crawling into it. Cute as it is seeing him in it he needs to be kept out of the babies things because soon he will not be the baby anymore. I got him in June of 2000 and he has been with me through a lot and boy is he one moody little guy! But I love him and I hope he handles the adjustment well. Especially since now he is the only cat we have left. Burrito would have been fine with the baby, she was always rather indifferent to changes as long as she had the back of a sofa to sit on she was happy.

I'm ready to have my body back. I know that the labor will probably break my body even worse, but at least then I can start the healing process. Right now I just feel stuck. The idea that I could actually print yesterday was such a pipe dream! It wasn't hot like it is today so I started tidying my studio so I could either print or carve. My press had some junk on it that had to go and so did my desk. After about fifteen minutes of this I was completely exhausted, my hips and back were killing me and my joints hurt. Even sitting wasn't good enough, I needed to lie down. It is very frustrating to say the least. And i feel so guilty for being such a slacker.

Today is my last appointment with the midwife. I'll get checked out to see if I am any further along but I doubt it. Since my midwife Lara wasn't on the schedule I probably won't see her again until after I have had the baby. But the other midwife I have taken a real shining too will be inducing me on Monday so all is not lost.

Today is Jon's last day at work before he takes leave for the baby! At the latest even with a difficult labor we should have her by Tuesday! I get chills thinking about it! We will use these last two days to go over the house for any final preparations and then on Sunday we go in to get things started. I could go into labor then but most likely I will go home to sleep then come back in on Monday for an inducement.

I hope everybody has a great weekend! I will keep things updated as much as possible! Expect baby pictures soon!

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Now playing: Jens Lekman - A Sweet Summer Night On Hammer Hill
via FoxyTunes

Never a cool kid

Looking at You - ACEO/ ATC
Originally uploaded by m.Lee

Should a blogger show no weakness? I'm a professional and should exude confidence at all times right? Well maybe this post will never see the light of day but right now I am not brimming with self confidence. Not being able to physically or mentally make art certainly isn't helping me feel good about myself as an artist. I wanted to do some printing or carving so badly yesterday but my body and mind just weren't up to it. I am on countdown mode to the baby and my life is pretty much on hold right now.

Don't get me wrong I love and am quite confident in my work most of the time. I've really grown as an artist in the past two years. Even damn proud of many of my pieces and certainly am proud of my rather large body of work. Even small pieces like this art card are things of joy for me. And I am also proud of what I have accomplished as an artist doing it my way in a rather short period of time after a long period where I had no art. It is quite the turn around and that is something that I should be thankful for and celebrate.

But sometimes I see something random surfing around online late at night while battling anxiety induced insomnia or a random thought pops into my mind and I suddenly feel small and insignificant. Yes I have this, this and this but what about the things that I haven't accomplished? And then I start comparing myself to other artists and their successes and I don't always measure up. My work may be strong and I am not about to change it to meet whatever is hip but I am just not one of the uber cool indie artists it seems. My work is beautiful, colorful and filled with complex layering and texture. But I don't know just how much of a cool factor it has. I'm just trying to find and accept my place in all of this and love my work for what it is. I've never been one of the cool kids in any time or any scene in my life so why should this be any different?

I am way more secure about my work than i used to be, but I have my moments when I am not. It will pass I am sure, especially when I am able to work again. I'm sure being exhausted and filled with pregnancy hormones isn't helping.

Manic? Me? No!

Crazy Block
Originally uploaded by m.Lee

Okay, maybe just a little bit! smiles

It is Monday already? Why does my weekend feel wasted? It wasn't, but it is just never enough since there is so much to do.

The heat got to me and I wasn't able to print yesterday as planned. My body just wasn't cooperating at all. Instead I made a promo poster (side A, side B) to and sent it to the JPOS for them to include in binders throughout the area. Postmark date today!

I took a nice nap and actually woke up feeling rather refreshed for a change. My brain was hopping a bit and I started going through my sketchbook and adding new doodles. I'm not a huge sketcher but sometimes I doodle or do very loose plans for images. That is where this crazy block came from. Pulling random images and throwing them all on one block in a mad drawing fury. I had more that wouldn't fit that I was tempted to put on the other side but I restrained myself, reminding myself that the drawing part is the easy part of this process. That carving this won't be a fast and easy task for sure.

And I won't be letting myself carve this no matter how much I want to until I print. I have around 50 sheets of beautiful Japanese papers torn and ready to go and those four new images to print. This new crazy block can wait or I may end up totally screwing myself over and not have any new work before blee comes!

It feels so good when my brain works like this with energy and not wanting or needing sleep but it wears me out eventually and if I don't force myself to focus I don't get things done I just get too many things started and end up overwhelmed. I feel very impatient with myself right now wishing I had carved or printed yesterday but my body was not able to print and by the time I finished drawing the block it was midnight and time for bed like it or not. Plus, starting carving means messing up the studio I cleaned up for printing.

This morning it is raining and cooler. Still muggy but not nearly as bad as yesterday. I had a so-so night sleeping having woken up feeling icky a few times but managing to control it. Then around 6am (I think) I was woken up again by a thunderclap. I love thunder but I need my sleep! Right now I need my coffee or a big pot of tea.

Currently the colors I am thinking for today are a golden yellow/ orange. slate blue and deep purple. I hope my body and the heat don't do me in.

Last Hurrah!

Carved Butterfly
Originally uploaded by m.Lee

Of one very pregnant lady.

I hope everybody is having a good week so far. I can't believe that it
is nearly over. I also can't believe that we now have an infant car
seat strapped in our back seat! I'm all grown up now! *tick tick tick*
my belly has a time bomb in it and I can't read the clock.







Carving the pine cone block was beginning to wear on me. That 8"x10" was feeling rather large and daunting and my mind had moved on to other ideas. I've made good progress on it but find myself slowing down and neglecting it. Odd finding such a small block feeling so large when I have carved 20"x30" many times in the past. So I pulled out one of my many 6" square blocks and pasted two images onto them. They are a mixture of images I found in the dictionary combined with drawn embellishments. I attached the paper Tuesday night and then let it dry to the block overnight before carving. Dragonfly on one side, butterfly on the other. Then I carved them both in a day before washing off the paper guide. The process can be seen documented here in this set. I am really liking the paper transfer except for the part where I get the block wet. I wanted to go back into the butterfly after I removed the image but I felt that carving it wet would not be wise. It was the detail in the butterfly that really killed me and gave me some serious shoulder pain. I needed to use my magnifying goggles to carve those little dots and they still need to have the edges cleaned up before I can print.

In the end I am proud of myself for pushing myself to get this done. I am planning on printing the two separate and together seeing how the forms overlap. Depending on if I am able to complete the pine cone block or not these may be the last blocks I finish for awhile. And possibly my last big printing session until after we have adjusted to the baby.

Last night I was feeling good, really good, and I made the mistake of telling somebody that both my swollen ankles and my acid seem to be under control. Well around 3am I was puking up acid and today I will probably end up with swollen ankles even if I never get out of bed! What does a girl have to do?