Monday, August 13, 2007
Never a cool kid
Don't get me wrong I love and am quite confident in my work most of the time. I've really grown as an artist in the past two years. Even damn proud of many of my pieces and certainly am proud of my rather large body of work. Even small pieces like this art card are things of joy for me. And I am also proud of what I have accomplished as an artist doing it my way in a rather short period of time after a long period where I had no art. It is quite the turn around and that is something that I should be thankful for and celebrate.
But sometimes I see something random surfing around online late at night while battling anxiety induced insomnia or a random thought pops into my mind and I suddenly feel small and insignificant. Yes I have this, this and this but what about the things that I haven't accomplished? And then I start comparing myself to other artists and their successes and I don't always measure up. My work may be strong and I am not about to change it to meet whatever is hip but I am just not one of the uber cool indie artists it seems. My work is beautiful, colorful and filled with complex layering and texture. But I don't know just how much of a cool factor it has. I'm just trying to find and accept my place in all of this and love my work for what it is. I've never been one of the cool kids in any time or any scene in my life so why should this be any different?
I am way more secure about my work than i used to be, but I have my moments when I am not. It will pass I am sure, especially when I am able to work again. I'm sure being exhausted and filled with pregnancy hormones isn't helping.