She's Here! And my energy is returning.

On the night of Sunday the fifth of December I went into labor around bedtime. We called my Doula at 3:30am an she was here helping us through it an hour later. Firstborn daughter blee slept through it all until 6:30 when she woke up on her own, a typical time. At 7:30 things shifted into high gear fast and at 8 my husband took our car and our daughter one direction to get her to school while my doula took me the other direction towards the hospital. Hoping to meet up again before the birth.

After narrowly avoiding giving birth in my doula's van, then the hospital waiting room while a receptionist lectured me about not being pre-registered and all the paperwork on me she'd have to do as a result. My husband did make the birth with all of about five minutes to spare. Charlotte Patricia was born at 8:58 and was put to my chest to feed straight away. When she did get weighed an hour later she came in at 8lbs 2oz and 19in. Not too shabby.


Big sister is loving being a big sister and we are all doing well and settling into our new lives as a family of four. She loves to tell everyone and anyone about her baby. She gives the baby gifts of her toys.

Last Days of Summer

We've been trying very hard to enjoy these final days of summer here in New England. We had two fabulous weekends in the high seventies and low eighties in a row and we spent them outdoors and by the water. The first weekend we went to Newport, RI to do the cliff walk but as soon as Alex saw the beach the walk was off the table and we were at the beach. Which would have been perfect if it hadn't been a "red tide" day with nasty algae killing some sea life (think mollusks) and just making things smell funky but not actually dangerous. My hyper-sensitive from pregnancy nose was going nuts but we still had a good time I just stayed away from the water.

Last weekend was better. We ended up in Portsmouth NH for the day and even though the cruises were all booked up we had a great time walking around and being near the ocean. Alex came back with this Viking Hat and has been wearing it nearly non stop since. The toystore it came from had some adorable dolls that my darling daughter showed pretty much no interest in, making me rather sad.





Things are well enough. We travel to the Midwest in a few weeks for her third birthday and will see a lot of family. After a couple of miserable (not to mention expensive) plane trips in a row we have decided to drive over two days.

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Babysitter has an iPad

Splurged and got an babysitter so we could finally go to Ten Tables, a resturant that is considered on of Boston's best and happens to be in our hood. Oh my was it fabulous! I got ricotta pasta with miyatake mushrooms and Parmesan rRggiano as an entree and Jon got herb stuffed roasted chicken. I tried both and couldn't decide which I liked more. We both won. I think I won for dessert, at least in terms of uniqueness. He got excellent warm your soul bread pudding with house made ice cream. I got chocolate mousse that could have been pretty standard fare but they dressed it up with peanut brittle and a touch of some fancy sea salt. Made for a very complex tasting experience. It was on the verge of being too rich but so interesting I loved it.

Then we got home and the babysitter showed off her new iPad. Rut oh! Jon went into this other world while he played with it for a few minutes. Willpower needed. We'd want a 3g one anyhow so we're safe for a little while.


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Welcome March!

February is finally over and I am running head first into March. While March has traditionally been my worst month emotionally for years now I think that could change this year. So here I go with some big plans, goals and dreams for the month. Here is to a fabulous month for all of us! Begone winter!

I do believe that these doodles are building up to something major. People have been saying that they remind them of my woodblock prints with the layers of colors and I am starting to see that. I can't believe it but I haven't printed in over a year. I only touched my press in 2009 when we moved my studio into the smaller room and that wasn't even me but my husband and a friend. Not only have I not been able to get much art done the last year and a half or so (hmm that lines up to when Alex became mobile) but I've been so focused on collages ever since she was born. It is really difficult to set aside a chunk of at least two hours, preferably around four, to print. But a collage lends itself so well to being worked on in stages. I even did a few of them with Alex in the Ergo or wrap on my back! That just wouldn't work with printing. Whenever I did have any longer periods of time I was way too exhausted for printing as it is quite a physically and mentally draining process for me. So much of the creative process is done at the press and I need a clear and focused mind. Factor in a dash of boredom after doing printmaking pretty much exclusively for over two years and I moved on. But I'm feeling that this year the press will be used. That I will find a balance between my sketches/ doodles, making collages and printmaking. I even have paper that I tore in either early 2009 or late 2008 ready to go for printing. Eeep!


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After a Vacation I'm ready for a Staycation!

Miami Zoo
Originally uploaded by mlee.etsy.com

Please excuse the extended absence, as after vacation we all ended up sick. Everything started out great when the three of us went to the Miami Zoo where Alex had a blast. We got to see Avatar and Fantastic Mr. Fox and enjoyed them both. But the day after Christmas on the long drive to see my family in Sarasota Alex started showing signs of a cold.

Once we got there it was full on and led to a lot of family stress. By the time we got home I too had the cold and a week later I'm still sick. Usually I'm the one that recovers the fastest since it is hardest on the family when I'm sick. Now here I am feeling a lot better in many ways, no more awful cough and I'm not exhausted, but my congestion has gotten so much worse and traveled to my ears. I'm getting checked out for an sinus infection tomorrow. The headaches I get are enough to knock me on my butt and that makes the days caring for Alex quite difficult. Alex is still a little snotty but happy overall.

But I'm sure that once I get better things will be great for us as I have a plan of direction for this year. Last year started out bad but ended on an upswing and I'm working to continue that trend. I've apparently lost more weight than I feel I have lost as people have been commenting a lot on how much better I look. The looking better comes from inside as I feel so much better as well, and this better feeling is tied with the lifestyle changes I made in 2009. And since I made them so gradually they feel natural and ingrained in me now.

We're still trying to get pregnant and it isn't going as I hoped, but I'm not letting myself get discouraged. Every month without pregnancy is a month I can prepare my body to be more healthy for it and hopefully not get so dang sick like the last time.

5 reasons why leaving Boston is awesome!

first snow
Originally uploaded by mlee.etsy.com

Pros!

1) Blizzard!

2) Florida sunshine in December might not be the warmest, but the contrast to here more than makes up for that.

3) Avatar! Movies and dinner dates out! Free babysitting from family is a rare and wonderful thing.

4) Getting to leave the house without some big production. Unless going to the beach and then it is worth it.

5) Having family fawn all over Alex.

Cons!

1) Having a six am flight and having to get up by four am with a sleepy and most likely grumpy toddler.

2) Packing is never fun.

3) Cleaning the house.

4) No more green smoothies in the morning. Vitamix doesn't travel well and I don't think the stick blender will cut it.

5) Wasting my membership to the Gym. But I think there is one that I can use at my Grandmother's complex. Actually using it is another story.

As you can see the pros far out way the cons! We're not bringing the laptop and will have limited internet access, mostly from our phones. See you next year! Hope everybody has a great holiday and New Years!

Happy Thanksgiving!

found hat
Originally uploaded by mlee.etsy.com

Hope all my friends in the US had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend and didn't get too bruised up if you did participate in Black Friday. Other than a few choice Amazon purchases we abstained from shopping on Friday. And I won't set foot in a mall until next year.

We're really busy right now totally re-arranging the apartment, but are well. It is going well and I am feeling good about it.

Alex says hi!

Crisp Air Days

Halloween Weekend
Originally uploaded by mlee.etsy.com

Hope you had a great weekend. It was the perfect crisp Autumn weekend that we have grown to expect from living in New England but haven't gotten much of this year.

Alex had fun even though she didn't really know what was going on other than getting to run around a lot and have people smile at her more than usual.

It was a bittersweet time as two good friends stayed over on their way to a move to Seattle. They will be missed and I'm looking forward to visiting someday.

Final Days

Jungle
Originally uploaded by mlee.etsy.com

Of my Buy one Get One sale. On Saturday I am having an Open House in my studio in honor of Spring cleaning and will be shutting my shop down for the day. This might be the last chance for certain pieces. This woodblock print is just one of nearly sixty pieces that I have for sale now.

We enjoyed our Easter holiday with the family, but I think in the future we are going to ask them to visit a month or two later so they can enjoy good weather. They aren't religious so I don't see what the big deal about being here on Easter is. None of them joined us at church. Which is fine, but the weather will be so much nicer in May and early June.

Jon and I are making plans of our own for a nice little trip. We are finally going to make it to NYC in mid May. We got back into contact with some old friends and they invited us to stay with them in their spacious Brooklyn apartment. It will be nice to see them and other. I hope to make it to Etsy labs once, or at least see Anda from Etsy. I'm dying to meet her daughter!

The collage a day for a week went so well that I am doing it again, but with less restrictions. I just need to do some art daily. Yesterday it was a collage, today I'm not sure. I have a woodblock drawn on and ready to carve. It is quite small, but that is a good place to start.

Hope everybody has a great Wednesday. I miss the old days of blogging and reading blogs daily. I miss everybody.

Goodbye

with great grandma
Originally uploaded by mlee.etsy.com

Jon's maternal grandmother passed away yesterday. He will be traveling to the funeral in Ohio on Thursday and be getting back Sunday. I am grateful that she was able to meet her only great-grandchild twice before she went. She was 89 years old and will be missed by us and many others. This is my first time caring for Alexandra on my own for an extended period of time. I'm very lucky to have such an involved partner.

I know I should be working my butt off on Etsy and Art Fire right now, but I'm not. Today was a busy morning and I just got home and I am spent.

Yesterday I had fun playing with monotype printmaking. Layering colored inks on a plexi plate and removing parts to form a multi colored image. I learned that I need to replace my Hansa Yellow because some air got in and ruined it and that I need some practice. But I had a good time and I learned how easy it is to cleanup these inks compared to oil which makes it much more doable during daytime naps when she could wake up at any moment. It was great to make something without regard for it being perfect or worthy of selling. I tend to get caught in that trap and I broke free of that last night. I expect to be doing more of this whenever I have the chance this week. It is nice to get a break from the normal and safe woodblock printing.

Also, in case you missed my post from the weekend I am going to repeat myself because it is important to me as I worked very hard for this.

Hi. If you were referred to Art Fire by me please send an email to Jessica Johnson and let her know. There has been some sort of bug and none of my referrals prior to today went through.

Thanks and have a great week. I'll be back tomorrow or Wednesday hopefully.

Free Shipping Sale!

I Love You More
Originally uploaded by mlee.etsy.com

Dark Leaves

I Love You More

These are just two of the most recent pieces I put up on Artfire in the past 24 hours and until Black Friday they will all have free shipping. Buy as many pieces as you want from wherever you are and I will refund you the shipping after you pay. This offer is only good in my Art Fire

shop but I can move anything from

Etsy

over if requested. I'm still in the process of filling out my Art Fire store and haven't abandoned Etsy just yet.

I'm going to try and be around listing my new pieces on Friday after Thanksgiving but we have family in town and they may want to see what New England has to offer. A month ago I would have said lots, but right now not so much.

I hope all of my readers in the US have a great Thanksgiving with family and/ or friends, and that my international readers simply have a nice Thursday.

Is anybody shopping on Black Friday? Looking for a killer deal on an HDTV maybe? My dad is going out at the crack of dawn per usual off in Chicago but I avoid shopping like the plague after Thanksgiving.

Envy Myself

Envy
Originally uploaded by mlee.etsy.com

Sometimes I find myself envying the old me. The me that had all the time, energy and desire to print new art for hours multiple times a week. Now everything is such a struggle it seems.

But I am working on it and more importantly I am working again. Shutting myself in my studio during naptime with nothing but an iPod, a block of wood and my carving tools. My paper is still ready to go once I get these ideas that have been in my head out onto blocks.

On top of all that I have new supplies and a instructional DVD on monotype printmaking using the inks I splurged on last year but barely used. I was getting set to play with them again when I stopped and admitted to myself that I did not know how to use these inks properly. Thankfully I don't have to take the expensive class they offer an hour away a couple times a day because I found a DVD online for $35.

Things will never be like they used to be, they will be better.

Have a great Wednesday!

Not Good

nice day for a walk
Originally uploaded by m.Lee

Other than some really poorly timed stupid family drama we are fine.

But our good friend is far from fine and it is seeping into our lives. It is really hard to focus on making art much less trying to sell it when your friend and neighbor keeps getting more and more bad news about his health. The cancer has spread to part of his abdominal cavity and one lung. I feel sick thinking about what him and his family must be going through somehow. Now my mom beat a cancer where the prognosis of living past two years post op was around 12% and lived for over sixteen years. That is what I keep telling myself. And he has even more to live for and a much stronger support system. Him and his wife are probably the best people I know in terms of goodness. Certainly better than I am. This just isn't right.

I found out the details of the day after this walk. The weather was perfect, the flowers are starting to peek out, the perfect day. I knew things were bad but not this bad. I had a friend over and we got lunch at this local place that I have fallen in love with. Not being alone with blee helped me cope. We didn't talk about it much but just having a friend around was good for me. I managed to do a bit of papercutting and that is about it.

People should be nicer to each other.

I just want my friend to be okay. F!

Cancer Sucks!

I had a blog post focusing on these two drawings that I plan on turning into Gocco prints for collage started, but never got to finishing it.

Then Jon came hold and told me that he had bad news. That a friend of ours has colon cancer, he's 38 years old and has three small children.

I deleted my original posting and started over.

I'm at a loss about what to say now I am so stunned and sad. Jon is over there now. Prayers/ good vibes/ whatever you have would be great. Their youngest is one and a half years old. Their oldest boy is six.

Speaking of cancer before all this unfolded I went to a mom's group I had never been to and one of the moms I ended up talking with is a Neurologist specializing in brain tumors and epilepsy. Needless to say she was interested in my story and I was interested in her line of work. She said that sadly other than surgical advances very little has changed in the last thirty years for brain tumor treatment.

I want to go to sleep now. It is really hard to be productive when your mind wanders to some very real and close to home troubles.

Plus the neighbors are smoking and making something ridiculously stinky. I think it might be pot. They are always smokers but it rarely filters into our place like this. It's giving me a headache.

Doing it All?

In Dark Trees
Originally uploaded by m.Lee

First, I hope everybody enjoyed their extra day. I did actually enjoy mine. I barely remember it at this point though. But I do remember that I enjoyed it.

But now trying to do it all isn't going so well for me. This is not a new piece.

How do you mums manage to balance everything so you can be there for your child while still having the time and energy to not only make art and or crafts? For awhile it seemed like I was doing it. Now just doing it but excelling at it. I felt powerful, I felt proud of myself. Sometimes I wondered even that people might think I was neglecting her because I was as productive as I am. Of course now I pretty much think the opposite. That people are watching me fall out of art and becoming simply a mommy. Not that there is anything wrong with just focusing on being a mother, but it just isn't what I want for myself. Am I being selfish?

I spend about five or more hours a day with my daughter strapped to me in some way or another. More during the weekdays. It is the only way she will nap and if she doesn't get her naps she screams. I'm able to do light housework and cleaning but that is about it. If I am wearing a certain carrier I can maybe draw. We just got back from one of our walks so I have a moment of piece. But mentally I am just not in a space to do what I need to do. I have all this canvas, gorgeous papers and of course blocks and inks to print with. Yet I have barely touched them in weeks. I haven't been sketching much and I certainly haven't been photographing my sketches for the 365 project. It just leaves me feeling like I failed already. Even going a week without making something feels like an eternity to me. I did some Gocco printing on Thursday but even that was too long ago. I haven't used any of the prints yet.

Nothing Says Happy Birthday!

She Sits in Darkness
Originally uploaded by m.Lee

Like cold, rain, wind and being sick to top it all off.

It's my 30th birthday today and outside is depressing on a day when I really need it to not be.

Seriously, February is not a good month to have a kid in most areas of the United States. It is hard caring for a newborn in this weather with bundling them up and illness and all that fun stuff new parents just love.

And it isn't fun for them when they are older. This is the second time in a row that I have been sick and isolated on my birthday. I dragged myself out to a little birthday dinner on Saturday night, but due to weather and traveling for the long weekend only three people came. When you have something planned in February you need to anticipate people dropping out or it getting canceled last minute because of a storm.

If we ever choose to have another child I plan on trying to avoid months November through March as due dates. Early September was a great time to have a baby. And Boston summers are a lot milder than Chicago summers so it wasn't all that bad being huge during the summer. And it certainly wasn't as dangerous as being huge in icy conditions!

While I firmly anticipate that I am on the right track in my life finally and that my thirties will be better than my twenties today is still such a bummer. I got my hopes up thinking that my dad would send me something this year. He told me that he would send me a little something along with some of my sister's old baby clothes but predictably that never happened. And you know what, it hurts.

And I miss my mother today. A lot. I picked up a book for blee yesterday and thought about how if she were around then blee would always have plenty of books from grandma. Thankfully she raised me well and I know what to get. It was an exchange and I had a very limited selection to choose from so I got Harold and the Purple Crayon. It is a little to old for her, but it never hurts to start the collection. There is a Leo Lionni (Fish is Fish and Frederick) box set that I want badly.

I was supposed to go to a babywearing group in Cambridge today as the meeting this time is actually a lot more accessible than normally. But with this weather I am not so sure anymore.

At least I am not puking on my birthday like last year! And I have a lot that I am truly and deeply grateful for this year. It would just be nice, yanno, to not be hacking up strange things on my birthday for a change. *edit* thinking about my symptoms and the fact that my father in law had pneumonia I am starting to suspect that I have a case of walking pneumonia. Freakin hell! And the doctor won't even be open for me to make an appointment! Double doh!

Post-Christmas

Royalty
Originally uploaded by m.Lee

Happy Thursday! Hope everybody had a nice Christmas. Ours started out nice and quiet but ended pretty poorly. It was great to be around family and not have to deal with a long stressful drive, just an easy hour and a half drive to RI to see my aunt and her family. But the visit ended stressful with blee totally freaking out. We are pretty certain that she is allergic to evergreens. Her first allergy. Neither one of us have allergies, but I have it in my family. She had been at there house before with no problems, the tree was the only difference. Normally when she gets upset we are able to help her. Feed her, change her or simply holding her will calm her. But the only thing that calmed her was leaving. We will talk to her pediatrician about it on Monday and hopefully confirm. She got spots on her forehead and that isn't a good sign that this was just a fluke. This isn't a huge deal since I have never had a real tree and Jon only had one once. But it probably means we will never be able to spend Christmas with them again.

And we are such dopes we took no pictures of her! They got a couple of shots that we are waiting on, but nothing by the tree. It just didn't occur to us until it was too late.

The best Christmas moment for me was going on a walk around their quiet woodsy area with wide streets with my aunt and uncle with blee strapped to me in her fleece pouch. She slept the entire way and eventually I took my over-sized orange hoodie and zipped it up completely over her, even her head. I looked hugely pregnant again and carrying very high. Wonder if this is what the woman in Siberia that had teh 17lb baby girl looked like before giving birth.

It was so nice that I wore her the same way during my trip to the doctor yesterday. It was the only thing that made the trip bearable. I didn't want to bring the stroller in the snow, but she needed a place to sit during the visit so I had no choice. I put the diaper bag in it. Sure enough I would be going along fine and then run into a poorly dug out patch of snow and have to pick up the stroller and carry it over. It actually wasn't a big deal with just the bag in it, but with her that isn't easy. And my back never hurt. And I just love being close to her. She was awake much of the trip home smiling up at me and looking around in wonder.

-

Much new art complete and getting uploaded and listed and even more being made. I'm getting ready for another big printing session this weekend. Weekends are really the only time for me to print. When she goes down at night during the week I have time, but am too tired.

Home

The house I grew up in
Originally uploaded by m.Lee

This is the house I grew up in just outside of Chicago from before I actually lived in it. Before I was born most likely. The paint is the wrong color, the bushes are too small and the walnut tree in front doesn't look to be quite the perfectly climbable size I remember it to be. But it is after the addition which I can see peeking out in the back.



And this is the deck my father built in the back yard filled with flowers. He added that when I was around ten and it was beautiful. Further in the back yard was a vegetable garden with things like corn, green beans and strawberries. And behind the garage grew a huge raspberry bush, I would come back with a huge bowl filled with berries every few days during the summer. And of course the sugar snap peas those are probably my fondest memory. So fresh that you do not want to cook them just shell them and shove them in your mouth as quickly as possible. Heck, eat the shell if you want. I would sit with my dad and we would shell them into a big bowl together and then fight over them. I was smaller so I should get less he would insist, I disagreed.

We moved away the summer before I entered Junior High, when everything was really going to hell. The new house was never home like this one I was just passing through it without getting attached. I remember for a couple of years after the move if we were remotely in the area I would beg my dad to swing by so I could see the house.

I'd really like to see it again someday. And I would love to own a cape cod style house of my own too. With a bigger kitchen please. And no garden, sorry but I would just end up killing it with my black thumb.

Hope all my readers in the United States that celebrate have a wonderful thanksgiving tomorrow. My inlaws are in town just like last year, except this year there is a special attraction! Last Thanksgiving I was pregnant with her but I wouldn't know that for nearly seven weeks.

Weekend Update

Cityscape Ginkgo Leaves ACEO
Originally uploaded by m.Lee

Tonight blee turns four weeks old! She'll be a month in just a few days!

Jon's parents arrived Thursday night and his mother just about squealed with delight when she saw the little one. She is quite smitten with the (not so) wee one. She is the mother of two boys so having a little girl to coo over and dress up is something she really enjoys. In fact Alexandra is the first girl born into the Swinghammer family in fifty years.

They watched her on Friday while I prepared for the Open Studios and got orders together. They can't get enough of holding her and I am happy to get some help. Then they watched her most of yesterday while I was doing the Open Studios but brought her to see me once, and then Jon came alone with her once while they did the Sam Adams brewery tour. The event went very well and I more than made up what I put into it and it was actually less stressful than last year. Plus I got to see some people from last year and catch up with them. Blee is not the only new baby, but she is the freshest! It went so well that we decided to leave my table, chair and easel and do a half day there today. Really most of the buyers don't come out until after lunch, it is mostly browsing before that time. His parents are out touring Boston so why the heck not? We can either watch her at home and make no money or watch her their and make money. And by starting late we were able to get a decent amount of sleep. Mmmm nothing like sleeping in until 8:30!

During one of blee's visits to my setup our pediatrician actually stopped by my table and checked out my work. He didn't know I was an artist and I didn't know he lived in the area. He looked her over as she slept peacefully in her stroller and said she looked great. But we are still going to get a more official checkup next month.

I think this card sold yesterday, but I honestly am not sure and need to go through my stock tonight to make sure that everything that sold has been taken off of Etsy. As I suspected the magnets of all sizes were a big hit because they are a great impulse purchase, but I sold a good amount of art too. Combined with the significant wholesale order at a price that pleased both me and the buyer September has been a shockingly good month for me. And nearly all of the success snuck in at the end of the month. I'm trying to remember last year but I think it may have been very similar, though this summer June- August was much better than last summer.

Now my shop is feeling very empty, having under 100 items for the first time this year. I can't remember the last time I had so few items. Now I am really feeling the desire to make some new work. It could use some fresh pieces for sure! Not that my old work is bad but all the pieces using my latest designs (butterfly, dragonfly and pinecones) are all completely sold out.

Hope the weekend has been positive for everybody and that you are all enjoying nice weather like we are here in Boston. It really turned out to be a great weekend for the inlaws to visit. They leave tomorrow but will be back for Thanksgiving.

Compromise

promoing mommy
Originally uploaded by m.Lee

Thanks for the support during my breakdown yesterday. I've come up with what I think will work as a compromise for this weekend. I've decided that I will only do one day of the art fair. It will have to be Saturday because if I skip that day and go for Sunday I would miss having a good spot secured for my table.

Plus Sunday is little blee's (first month) birthday! Weee!

I'd like to have her with me tomorrow as much as possible, but since she hates being in a sling and her head is still too floppy for the Baby Bjorn I'm not sure how much we will have her and how much we will let his parents watch her. Maybe I will put her in her carseat stroller and cover her with stickers of my art to get people's attention. Beat that!

Last night I was in bed before 9am and even though she was trouble early this morning I do feel better than I did yesterday. Getting things done seems possible. The amount I need to do seems more reasonable than overwhelming today.

Must Do

• Drop domestic package off at the post box down the street.
• Remove wholesale sales from Etsy to reserve them for the person in Hawaii because I know she won't be online again until late tonight.
• Fill and send two international orders (meaning I need to go or have Jon go to the PO, hence the delay)
• Put prices on my work
• Remove pieces that were bought for a wholesale order from my portfolio
• Make an AWAY aka don't buy from me Avatar and shop announcement for Etsy.
• Get table from basement and do a trial setup for tomorrow.

Extras

• finish carving block
• tear paper
• print (yeah right!)

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