Nothing Says Happy Birthday!

She Sits in Darkness
Originally uploaded by m.Lee

Like cold, rain, wind and being sick to top it all off.

It's my 30th birthday today and outside is depressing on a day when I really need it to not be.

Seriously, February is not a good month to have a kid in most areas of the United States. It is hard caring for a newborn in this weather with bundling them up and illness and all that fun stuff new parents just love.

And it isn't fun for them when they are older. This is the second time in a row that I have been sick and isolated on my birthday. I dragged myself out to a little birthday dinner on Saturday night, but due to weather and traveling for the long weekend only three people came. When you have something planned in February you need to anticipate people dropping out or it getting canceled last minute because of a storm.

If we ever choose to have another child I plan on trying to avoid months November through March as due dates. Early September was a great time to have a baby. And Boston summers are a lot milder than Chicago summers so it wasn't all that bad being huge during the summer. And it certainly wasn't as dangerous as being huge in icy conditions!

While I firmly anticipate that I am on the right track in my life finally and that my thirties will be better than my twenties today is still such a bummer. I got my hopes up thinking that my dad would send me something this year. He told me that he would send me a little something along with some of my sister's old baby clothes but predictably that never happened. And you know what, it hurts.

And I miss my mother today. A lot. I picked up a book for blee yesterday and thought about how if she were around then blee would always have plenty of books from grandma. Thankfully she raised me well and I know what to get. It was an exchange and I had a very limited selection to choose from so I got Harold and the Purple Crayon. It is a little to old for her, but it never hurts to start the collection. There is a Leo Lionni (Fish is Fish and Frederick) box set that I want badly.

I was supposed to go to a babywearing group in Cambridge today as the meeting this time is actually a lot more accessible than normally. But with this weather I am not so sure anymore.

At least I am not puking on my birthday like last year! And I have a lot that I am truly and deeply grateful for this year. It would just be nice, yanno, to not be hacking up strange things on my birthday for a change. *edit* thinking about my symptoms and the fact that my father in law had pneumonia I am starting to suspect that I have a case of walking pneumonia. Freakin hell! And the doctor won't even be open for me to make an appointment! Double doh!