The Weekend is Over

Surrounded by Pine Cones
Originally uploaded by m.Lee

It has been so weird not listing anything new for these weeks that the other day I broke down and listed this piece. It is the final pine cone piece I have made. Not the final one period, just the last one that I will probably have for awhile so I figured I should at least get this one up! Making my shop virtually dormant and not listing pieces that I have does feel strange even if it does make sense. I mean the only time I have taken a break since I started in January 2006 was when I was so sick I didn't have anything new to put up. This time it is different. Before I was sick and had nothing, now I have plenty but I am distracted and disconnected. First from baby anticipation and now with this added sadness from our huge loss. But the loss makes me want to do something to distract myself.





I would like to thank everybody for being so wonderfully supportive during this incredibly difficult weekend. Your support really did make a difference in getting us through the days and both of us appreciate it greatly. Even though she was a sick kitty and had been for a long time, this sudden and dramatic turn really caught us off guard. Putting her to sleep yesterday morning was probably the most difficult thing either one of us have ever done. We stayed with her until she was completely sedated. Jon held her in his arms while the sedative took effect so that was her final memory and we feel good about that. On Saturday more than anything I just wanted the day to pass without me going into labor (for once I didn't want it) because I knew that not only would any delay cause her more pain but she was doing so bad and getting worse so fast she could have died during the wait. And her dying in the corner behind the sofa is now that we wanted while I am having my baby! Thank God she got to have some dignity and plenty of love during her final moments. But our time with her was just too short. We're still in shock from it all. The first picture is the last picture I took of Burrito and the second one is the fat and rolly polly happy kitty we would like to remember her as.

Now that ordeal is over with we would really like to welcome the new baby! She will be a week overdue as of tomorrow and as a result we have an ultrasound and destress test scheduled at the hospital on Tuesday morning. They do this every time a woman goes a week overdue to make sure the environment is still safe for the baby, because that becomes an issue with pregnancies that go over term. Since my blood pressure has dropped and stayed stable I am no longer considered high risk and cannot be induced until I hit 41 weeks, but they will not let me go past 42 weeks. I don't want to be having this baby into September! It's okay that she decided not to be a Leo but to be a Virgo instead, but September? If I haven't had the baby when I get the ultrasound I may see if I can schedule an induction that day instead of waiting for my appointment with the Mid Wife on Friday the 31st. It is starting to feel like this baby isn't real and that she is never coming out. Sure she kicks the crap out of me on a nightly basis just to remind me of her realness, but come out already!

If I am feeling up to it and I can get the studio a reasonably cool temperature I am going to try and do some sitdown carving today. I have been so useless for weeks now and it is really getting to me. I get tired very fast. I have to try to get something accomplished, to produce something.