Wednesday, August 22, 2007

My Gosh!

Earthy Ginkgos
Originally uploaded by m.Lee
Everybody is so baby obsessed! Not that I am at all hahah but I put up this picture on Flickr and within a couple of minutes am receiving comments not about it but about the blee. And I find out that my pregnancy buddy, the one with so much of the same pains and nearly the same due date (a few days behind) is getting induced today just after a midwife tells us that we should keep waiting. Gah!

While I know induction can be not fun I am feeling a little envious right now because I am so tired of this. Once again last night I had horrible pain that turned into contractions for hours. At times these contractions would be spaced out about every five minutes. Then they would just go away. My back hurt like crazy until around 2am when suddenly it stopped and I was finally able to get some sleep. This happens to some degree or another every night and it is driving both Jon and I crazy.

I was so pleased with myself for being able to as much done on the block as I have this past week by working in spurts on and off. All the linework around the edges of the images has been carved and the clearing of negative space has been started. It is going a lot faster than I ever expected it would in my condition. My blood may not be in this piece but certainly my sweat and tears are in it. I grit my teeth and carve until I am physically unable to anymore. I am doing a big local art fair at the end of September (hopefully) and I can't help but think how wonderful it would be if I actually had prints from this block to show then. But getting it carved and printed with this baby looming is not something I should be pressuring myself to do. It is so hard as I continue to wait for her to quit teasing me and show up. Then I can finally know just how much my life is going to change.

I'm going to try and go back to sleep. I feel awful. I was really hoping to wake up to labor pains instead of going to sleep with them. The thought of having a baby when we are both freaking exhausted is really scary. Last night during the contractions I was finding myself so tired I just wanted to have them let me sleep while doing a C section because I couldn't imagine pushing.

I love you all! xoxoxo


jodie nicholson said...

Good things come to those who wait....and wait and wait and wait! I'm not doctor, but I reckon it will happen any day now :)

lourdes said...

Poor dear- Been there, done that, exhaustion is not what it's cracked up to be :)
This is the time to be very kind to yourself and gather as much energy, chocolate and sleep as you can manage. Please, please please please ACCEPT all offers of help; it really will make this phase and the next better- If someone asks if they can do anything for you , say yes and have them get you a treat, wash your dishes, watch your newborn for 2 hours while you get a haircut, whatever. Accepting help and favors will make the other person feel better, train them to think of you and your needs :) and prevent a later meltdown when you realize that since the baby, you have not cleared dishes, had ice cream or gotten a haircut etc for amonth. This way you'll have the energy for your show in late September :)
Best to you from another mother and artist.

stilettoheights said...

Oh Marissa....just remember that every one of these fake out contractions is bringing you closer to having little blee....soon my dear, soon.

Sweet Spice said...

aaawww {{{hugs}}} Stiletto is right, each time that happens it brings you a little closer =o) Want to hear something funny, I was induced and I was so upset that I didn't get to know what it actually felt like to have my water break on its own...they broke it and said now things will get going...I was like, thats IT???? but I don't feel like I peed myself lol =o)

b'oki. said...

yeppers...those pre-labor (braxton-hicks) contractions are helping to ripen and prepare your body. after Blee comes, all this pain will pay off. before my kids were born, i massaged a special blend of natural oils on my belly to relieve the tightness. keep saying, "I can do this, I can do this!" [[HUGS]]. bette :)

Christina said...

Marissa, I know it's a difficult wait! But you don't want to be induced! Even having your water broken by the midwife during normal labor is no fun, much less having chemicals forcing labor on you. If you're having all of those contraction then you're very close. I went into labor 2 days after my due date. It's normal for first time moms to go a little over the date. But I'm sure you've heard this all before. Get as much rest as you can. I'm so happy and excited for you!


m.Lee said...

Thanks I know but the false labor is so difficult. I wish it was just simple braxton hicks concentrated at the top but this is like real labor, except it goes away. I get the killer back pain and everything.

I was crying from it begging it to keep going because it was just too much pain to not lead to a baby.

But at least I didn't have to give birth when we were both completely exhausted. I've been napping and am going to encourage Jon to take a nap when he gets home.

Cathy said...

That's why you need your rest - stop carving and put your feet up!! Best of luck - we're all waiting with you :)

Rachel said...

I bet you'll have her at 3:30 am tonight!!!

im rooting for 7 pounds 4 ounces, 18 inches long.


Go BLEE!!!

good luck MOM!

Anonymous said...

Hi Marissa,
It's been a long time since I went through labor but I still remember! First time I had a lot of back labor and complained a lot and ended up with a cesarean. The second time I decided to have a home birth (I'm not recommending this) but what I learned was that instead of crying and complaining and trying to explain how much it hurt I vocalized. My midwife suggested it and it felt so much better. The idea was to keep my voice deep and sort of groan/roar. We were on the Long Island expressway trying to get back home to NJ as my contractions grew stronger. When we got to the toll booths at a bridge I had to quiet down so as not to scare anybody and that's when it hurt the most. Roaring was really empowering and very low tech!! (By the way, that labor lasted only three wild and crazy hours!) I know you will find the patience and strength you need to get through this! Best wishes, Lynn