Like Being Held Under Water

Under Water
Originally uploaded by mlee.etsy.com

And looking up at the sky but being unable to get to it.

Depression. Something I have been struggling with pretty severely since March. My friend getting sick and other things really gave me a knock down. Enough that eventually my doctor didn't know what else to do but give me an anti-depressant. Something we don't take likely due to my condition. But we did and I felt better.

For the first week. I was back to work and not feeling tired and lethargic all the time.Energy without mania. I was a little bit thirsty and a little hungrier than normal but I was working again so it was worth it.

-Then the insomnia set in.
-Then the persistent dry mouth.
-Followed by sudden weight gain (2.5lbs in three days).
-Then my energy dropped back off.

Oh and then I started going blind waking up with massive and crippling eye pain. I would have sharp pain in my right eye and a little in my left and it would hurt to open them. Even when it subsided a bit I was left with heavy eyelids and extreme sensitivity to light. This happened on and off for a week before I finally had enough, decided it had to be a rare allergic reaction to the medication and took myself off of it.

Everything went away. I no longer worry about waking up with stabbing pain in my eyes (knock on wood), when I drink water I am refreshed and I am not overly hungry. I'm still not sleeping too well and my energy level is crap but I can see and that all that matters. Really having the eye problems freaked me out so good that I am just ecstatic not to have them anymore. On Saturday I woke up with the pain so bad it nearly ruined my workshop. It did have an impact on my productivity since I had to wear dark sunglasses most of the weekend.

I guess we will figure out where to go next when I see my doctor next week.