growing up

go outside?
Originally uploaded by mlee.etsy.com

My little baby isn't a baby anymore and she hasn't been for quite some time now. I have pictures of her from the first four or six months on the side of my studio that I don't really pay attention to. Every once in awhile I look over there and see one and am stunned. It can be hard to link the two together even though there are physical and even personality similarities. But a toddler is a little person while an infant not so much. The first year is all about them developing into a person.

She may not be a baby anymore, but she still needs me and my attention a lot. Actually in many ways she needs me more than ever before. When she was a newborn she slept a lot and that gave me time to work on art or simple housework. Or I could wrap her up on my back while she napped and work on a collage. That doesn't work anymore and it hasn't since she became mobile.

But now that I am finally learning how to schedule myself as best I can things are starting to slowly turn and I am getting bits of my own life back despite the fact that her needs are continuing to rise. It is quite empowering. Right now I am able to work on my art at a pace that I can live with. One that doesn't leave me missing it with a whiny miserable voice in the back of my mind constantly. And what a relief it is, like a weight has been lifted from my life. And now the world seems brighter and much more manageable.

I've decided that this Christmas season is a wash for me as I am too far behind in promotion, networking and more too close to Christmas. Once I admitted this to myself I felt a great relief and that gives me the ability to come up with a new plan and a new goal. And that one is for 2010. In 2009 I got my health on the right track and I am now healthier than I have been in years, 2010 is going to be about regrowing my business. It won't be the same as before I had Alex or before the crash as things are probably only going to get worse. But I'll have a plan this time!

But that doesn't mean that you can't buy from my store this holiday season!