Friday, November 20, 2009

growing up

go outside?
Originally uploaded by
My little baby isn't a baby anymore and she hasn't been for quite some time now. I have pictures of her from the first four or six months on the side of my studio that I don't really pay attention to. Every once in awhile I look over there and see one and am stunned. It can be hard to link the two together even though there are physical and even personality similarities. But a toddler is a little person while an infant not so much. The first year is all about them developing into a person.

She may not be a baby anymore, but she still needs me and my attention a lot. Actually in many ways she needs me more than ever before. When she was a newborn she slept a lot and that gave me time to work on art or simple housework. Or I could wrap her up on my back while she napped and work on a collage. That doesn't work anymore and it hasn't since she became mobile.

But now that I am finally learning how to schedule myself as best I can things are starting to slowly turn and I am getting bits of my own life back despite the fact that her needs are continuing to rise. It is quite empowering. Right now I am able to work on my art at a pace that I can live with. One that doesn't leave me missing it with a whiny miserable voice in the back of my mind constantly. And what a relief it is, like a weight has been lifted from my life. And now the world seems brighter and much more manageable.

I've decided that this Christmas season is a wash for me as I am too far behind in promotion, networking and more too close to Christmas. Once I admitted this to myself I felt a great relief and that gives me the ability to come up with a new plan and a new goal. And that one is for 2010. In 2009 I got my health on the right track and I am now healthier than I have been in years, 2010 is going to be about regrowing my business. It won't be the same as before I had Alex or before the crash as things are probably only going to get worse. But I'll have a plan this time!

But that doesn't mean that you can't buy from my store this holiday season!


Caroline said...

I am so glad to hear it gets better (in terms of balancing family and work)... we're still in the thick of it with Ellie. I relish the naps!

And I remember when Blee was just a teeny thing! Look at her now! They grow up too fast.

audreyscountrycrafts said...

After you have a baby, and people tell you to cherish them when they are small because they grow up so quickly - they are so right!! My baby will graduate from high school in June!! My oldest will be 20 in April! What happened? I'm still 25 aren't I?

Marissa L. Swinghammer said...

Congratulations on making it Audrey!

You can be 25 and I will be 19, okay? I hated my mid-twenties.

Fern said...

Babies grow SO fast :) Your art is lovely. I am off to "heart" your Etsy shop :)

Marissa L. Swinghammer said...