Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Like Being Held Under Water

Under Water
Originally uploaded by mlee.etsy.com
And looking up at the sky but being unable to get to it.

Depression. Something I have been struggling with pretty severely since March. My friend getting sick and other things really gave me a knock down. Enough that eventually my doctor didn't know what else to do but give me an anti-depressant. Something we don't take likely due to my condition. But we did and I felt better.

For the first week. I was back to work and not feeling tired and lethargic all the time.Energy without mania. I was a little bit thirsty and a little hungrier than normal but I was working again so it was worth it.

-Then the insomnia set in.
-Then the persistent dry mouth.
-Followed by sudden weight gain (2.5lbs in three days).
-Then my energy dropped back off.

Oh and then I started going blind waking up with massive and crippling eye pain. I would have sharp pain in my right eye and a little in my left and it would hurt to open them. Even when it subsided a bit I was left with heavy eyelids and extreme sensitivity to light. This happened on and off for a week before I finally had enough, decided it had to be a rare allergic reaction to the medication and took myself off of it.

Everything went away. I no longer worry about waking up with stabbing pain in my eyes (knock on wood), when I drink water I am refreshed and I am not overly hungry. I'm still not sleeping too well and my energy level is crap but I can see and that all that matters. Really having the eye problems freaked me out so good that I am just ecstatic not to have them anymore. On Saturday I woke up with the pain so bad it nearly ruined my workshop. It did have an impact on my productivity since I had to wear dark sunglasses most of the weekend.

I guess we will figure out where to go next when I see my doctor next week.


Becca said...

Oh, m. Man, those side effects are horrible. :(

I've struggled with sleeping for most of my life and spent three long years depressed out of my mind.
I'm not sure what to say, what would help. If you ever want to talk...

Rosebud Collection said...

That is terrifying..side effects from medicines are awful..Depression is rotten..is there anything natural that you could take, that would help?
Just a thought..
Your picture is beautiful..

Shannon said...

Oh sweetie I am so sorry for your tribulations. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you.

I just love your art, the colors and images are so beautiful.

Callooh Callay said...

Ain't it a bitch when the cure is as bad as the disease? I hope your doctor can figure something out for you--there are so many meds out there now. Best of luck (and I agree with Shannon--I love your prints).

jen said...

eye pain! wtf! scary shit...

Marissa L. Swinghammer said...

Thank you for the support. Thankfully after a few days off the med the eye pain went away 100%. The depression came back, but at least I can see and that cheers me up a bit.

lovemaryxoxo said...

Wish you the best. Hope you feel better. I've blogged about you. Your work is great. You don't just see it, you can feel it.