Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Happy Anniversary!

Me and my husband circa 1998
Originally uploaded by m.Lee
Just look at those kids! Today is our fifth anniversary, and we are close to having been together ten years total. A lot has changed with both us and our relationship. We have grown old up together having been dumb kids who barely knew anything about life or relationships when we first started seeing each other. But I can say that right off the bat I knew that we had something special, something to be serious about.

Jon feeding baby

And now here we are with our beautiful baby girl. I remember thinking about this upcoming anniversary last year on our forth and possibly doing something special like a renewal of vows since we never had a proper wedding. Now everything has changed and we will be lucky to go out to dinner together. But that is fine with me because I think having a baby reasserts our commitment to each other pretty well!

I'm going to be taking a bit of a hiatus from blogging. At least until I have new work to show. Hopefully that will be by Monday, but you never know. Plus I could always have the time and energy to work and have everything turn out terribly since it has been so long I feel rusty. I've both come out of downtime better than ever and also come out with great difficulty.

I'm not feeling well emotionally, physically or spiritually right now. I'm feeling rather down on my art too as of late. Despite the good things that have happened I choose to focus on the negative. I'm also having a blogging mid life crisis not knowing what to do with this thing as I feel I am getting boring. I don't really do anything interesting. I am not finishing the interesting books that I am reading. Heck, I've only picked one up once since having blee. And I don't want these emotions to leak into my blog as I fear they will if I keep updating throughout this difficult period in my life.

See you when I am feeling better. Hopefully coming off of a major creative high very soon. I'll be around reading blogs whenever I have a few spare moments that aren't dedicated to cleaning or working on art.


fernfiddlehead said...

Aww -- I really feel for you and understand (REALLY understand) what you're going through. You take as much time as you need to be a good mommy and good to yourself. Convo me if you need to "talk"

The Aesthetic Elevator said...

Sorry for the feeling so down. Not that you need a cliched sermon here, but hope you find an upper soon! Life is just, well, not that great sometimes, but I'm not going to pretend I can empathize; I'm a bit of an optimist to put it mildly. Although I have enough cynicism to counter that most of the time!

m.Lee said...

Thanks for caring enough to say something.

I guess I have been letting the depressive/ negative side of my personality win lately. And honestly I don't feel able to combat it at this time. I'm just kind of festering.

I did accomplish a few important things last night including getting a major order packed and shipped off to Hawaii!

MadeByAmanda said...

The pictures of you and your husband are so sweet! I hope you are feeling more positive soon.

igotmoxie said...

aw! that's so sweet!!!

m.Lee said...

I'm trying. Today was a lot better than yesterday. I was still too tired to go out for our anniversary but we will try and do something over the weekend.

Thank you.

narchi said...

the before and after photos are just as cute! you guys look truly happy in both.

Christina said...

Congrats on your anniversary!

And I hope you feel better soon. I know how it feels. Hugs to you!

stilettoheights said...

Marissa dear, I understand how you feel, trust me on that one.

talk to me if you need to, I have faith you will be back soon!!

love you

liz aka hobbledehoy said...

Happy Anniversary!

(and) best wishes on a productive and creative weekend.

chris said...

Hope you're feeling better. Your pictures of your family are great... somtimes people go through a down period after birth. I wouldn't worry about letting it "leak" into the blog. All feelings if handled with honesty are totally valid and interesting. You have a nice blog... keep up the good work!

tatdanoekaki said...

Take care.
Best wishes for your anniversary.
Please know that your blog has never been boring, and is frequently inspiring.
postpartum depression is common enough to have the name, but I'm sure that doesn't do much to make you feel better.
Know that those who actually comment are the tip of the iceberg
of the number of blogworld residents that are cheering for you.

m.Lee said...

Thanks. Especially to those of you that are coming out of the woodwork. hah pun!

Post partum depression and if I have it or not has been on my mind lately. I felt so great about a week after the birth, maybe even two. But I am a prime candidate for post partum depression but it seems to come and go. But I am bipolar so that makes sense and is certainly better than being down and in tears all the time.